Are YOU Asking Me to Smile At The Storm?
June 28, 2007
Was having quiet time just now. Since I skipped yesterday’s (he he he) so I read the yesterday one for today ^^ It was from Mark 4:35-41. <<click to view the full text ^^>> Yep, very much similar thought, and I remember writing this post for my last blog, dated 9 Nov 2006, 10:26am. I wrote this before stats class. ^^ Since it’s so similar, I put a copy of the post here, to remind me (again), and maybe u too.. ^^
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“Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
“Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
war? suffering? terminal disease? why everything bad happened? where is God when we suffer? am i supposed to have faith that everything is beautiful according to its time? tell me what can be worst than what i am struggling with today.
“Is God so powerless that your worrying would help the well-being of your parish?”
“There comes a moment each day when we must simply drop what weighs on us and hand it over to God.”
Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. —1 Peter 5:7
how do i know God cares? He did not even do a single thing when i suffer. i am not even sure that He is listening to my prayer. He’s not being an efficient worker if you consider His “claimed” mightiness. if God really cares, He might as well cast away all my despair NOW. if i do believe that everything is beautiful in its time, for me, no other time is more beautiful than NOW.
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. —2 Peter 3:8
now whose time?
but i still dont understand why YOU allow me to suffer. am i faithful? am i good? am i perfect in Your eyes? what do i have against You? WHY? WHY ME?
even 99% is not perfect.
stop pitying yourself. you still have shelter, money, and food. at least you are not as hungry as some children in third world country. considering your education, your chances, you are far more FORTUNATE and BLESSED than those kids. stop putting yourself in the centre stage, like you are the most pitiful creature on earth.
EXACTLY. that’s the next point i want to bring up. i am not the most pitiful, although i am considered extremely pitiful already. there are MORE people facing suffering out there. Doesn’t God care about them? there are bunch of non-believers out there facing suffering. arent they becoming more skeptical towards God? i dont see GOD there, why should they? what God has done to ease their burndens? NONE that i know of!
be careful, God may ask you the same question, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE to ease their burden?
let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
ok. so i dont get any answer but rather a criticism that i do not care about others who live so far away from me. and even demand me in the midst of my SUFFERING to act GOD, since He is too preoccupied in watching His children suffer. and while im acting GOD, HE is the one who gets all the appraisal. what a GOOD GOD.
now, what’s for you live in this world? for YOURSELF?
oh well. another doctrine that i’ve heard of. i know that, i should make it my goal to please Him, but what this suffering doing here in the midst of my life? as i have said earlier, i’ve done things God’s way, and i have made it my goal to please Him. HOWEVER, i only get SUFFERING in return! TELL me what’s wrong with God’s fairness? i really dont understand! and also, refering back to the previous point, if He is good, would not He just drop food from the air to the hungry children, rather than waiting for us, human to deliver help? didnt He see that many has died because they have to wait for so long? couldnt God perform something miraculous? Has He lost His power? am i asking just the same question each time? i demand STRAIGHT answers to my questions!
………….
would i get my answers?
only if you believe.
….to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD…. [read more]
It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees [read more]
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. [read more]
For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. [read more]
well. ok. but still, is suffering really important? alhtough God wants His children to learn, but could not He use other way? i feel like giving up while waiting for this suffering to end. i feel like KILLING myself so that this could end faster!
you are giving up?
He did not.
Yes.. He did not give up, even when bearing all the pain in the world..
Image taken from: (http://oneyearbible.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/jesus_on_the_cross_2.jpg)
I really love philosophy. ^^ I tend to ask many questions, but never really I think about it seriously, until I am stuck there in Philosophy101 class. Not that I am stuck by chance, but I chose to be stuck there. In simpler words, I bid for the class. ^^
First few classes.. I am not sure whether I was in the class or not, but I tried as much as I can, to follow the arguments discussed in the class. At the same time, my mind was filled with so many questions that are seemed to entangle themselves in a vague connection. ^^;
The first topic discussed was about “Knowledge”. What is “knowledge”? To what extend can we “know”? Do we really “know” the things we claim to “know”, or the things we think we “know”?
To be perfectly honest, I was distressed by the end of the second (or third, I can’t remember) class. I doubt that I “know” the thing I know. I am not sure whether what I know is true or not.
I do not care about things like, “Oh, I’m so worried that 1 + 1 is not equal to 2!” I’m willing to give up that knowledge with no ease, if the “truth” says that 1 + 1 is equal to tree or some other symbols. But I do care about things like.. my beliefs about God… and other beliefs that follow from that.
How if, let’s say, God really does not exist and He only exists in my mind. I, and other people in this world who have the same concept of God, wired Him instead of He wired us. And in that sense, He’s only a mere creation of human minds, a manipulation of the brains. I guess if we agree on the previous sentence, God, is not “God” anymore, who is an Omnipotent Being, the Supreme Being.
Why this seems to bother me so much? I can’t really tell why..
But I guess I had this concept of God, which is somehow internalised in my life. I confess that I do not always practice what I preach — I know that it’s supposed to be like this, but I do not do as it’s supposed to be, or I forgot to do so, and at a point of time, soon or later, I realised that I was wrong, despite having the concept.
And this concept (or should I put it as “understanding”? Sounds better?) runs in my life, for me to make decisions, judgments, or even thoughts. So.. If this concept was totally wrong, totally false, and I had falsely believe that it is true, then I would just be a very dumb person, I would realise that I have been deceived all these while. This understanding is an important basis of my life. It affects my view of life, my lifestyle, I can say, it’s supposed to affects my whole life, be I aware of this, or not.
……………..
I doubt. I realise that I could be wrong about the whole concept, I could have believed wrongly! But, as I’ve said earlier: “No matter how strong your belief towards something is, it does not affect the “truth value” of the thing.”
Only after this doubting period, I come to the point to realise, how powerful faith is, how important faith is. Although I encountered possibilities that my belief could be wrong, somehow, I choose to still believe, due to faith — and although I lack of logical reasons, I believe that whatever things I believe is true.People may say: “How dumb you are!” Am I dumb? ^^
Last time I underestimate faith.. now that I see how important faith is.. I can somehow imagine how “Faith can move a mountain”.. (if I’m not wrong to imagine so ^^)
