He’s been faithful

Ini hari terakhir di tahun 2007.. mungkin emang bukan hari terakhir di dunia.. just taking a moment looking back to the past 1 year.. atau mungkin lebih.. 21 tahun lalu ++ dikit.. saat aku lahir.. yg nyokap dgn susah payah (ktnya gw dilahirin paling susah, n paling sakit, paling lama pula =p), mana di dalem dah mo mati, tapi ternyata hidup, sampe sekarang.. kebayang jg gimana perjalanan hidupku, yg mungkin dah panjang untuk temen2 remaja lain.. tapi masih termasuk pendek kalo dibanding dengan umur hidup papa.. di mana langkah2ku kadang ga pasti, eh tapi aku masih ada di sini sekarang.. siapa yang tuntun aku? is it just a coincidence that I’m still alive until now? Is it just a coincidence that I was able to go to church just now? nope. I dont believe in coincidence. I believe that God has planned it all. Even long, long time ago, more than 21 years ago. N Dia dah sertain langkahku, begitu panjang, dari ups and downs-nya.. He’s with me. He’s been faithful to me..

terus.. mikir lagi. banyak waktu yg gw buang2 dengan sia2. Mungkin sering jg gw justru ga denger Tuhan mao apa. Keras kepala. ngebenerin diri sendiri. sombong. kasar sama orang lain. sok bener. sering. sering ngecewain temen, ortu. malas. rakus. egois.. kalo mo di list. banyak banget hal2 bego yg aku ga pingin lakuin, if i had the choice and if i could turn back time…. tapi, aku.. masih bisa denger lagi ttg kebenaran Dia. masih diingeti, dengan sabar. masih bisa berkesempatan tiba2 tersentak. it’s not coincidence at all. diingetin jg, kalo saat aku ngerasa jauh dari Kamu, bukan karena Tuhan yg jauh. Tapi karena aku yg ga mo denger. krn aku yg ga mo ngakuin bahwa Km ada di situ selalu.. Yes, You’ve been faithful, even when i spend my time selfishly….

N kagum lagi, ga cuman ke aku doang, Tuhan, tapi juga ke setiap orang. Km selalu ada.. ngingetin, mau dekat dengan org yg mungkin bagi dunia itu plg hina sekalipun…

Friends, Tuhan itu beneran ada, n Dia ada di samping kita. Ngebimbing kita, nuntun, ingetin kalo kita ga beres. Mungkin bagi kalian susah merasa bahwa Tuhan itu ada. Emang, I’ve been there. not only once or twice, tapi sering banget aku ngerasin hati, krn itu aku ngerasa Dia ga ada.. tapi, ayuk, when you hear God’s calling today, do not harden our hearts.. He’s been faithful.. he’s been calling you. So let’s not harden our hearts.. let us learn to listen to Him..

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year =)

perna ga sih?

perna ga sih ngerasa elu melakukan sesuatu yg mayan penting, tapi org2 ga sadar akan hal itu? perna ga sih ngerasa sia2 melakukan sesuatu? ngerasa kok org2 ga bisa menghargai?

well.. kynya gw baru aja mengalami perasaan tsb.. n it made me realize that when you put your hope on the acceptance of others, you would suffer (esp. when others do not realize that you exist)…. I did not know why on earth I did that, thinking that at least my presence would make any difference.. I did not make any difference.. instead, I made a fool of myself, wasting my time on someone who and something that have nothing to do with me.. I did not know when my “actions” would be rewarded by others.. Sometimes it would just come out naturally.. I would know through the “Thank you (even for just listening or just by being here)” note, which could appear at the most unexpected moment from the most unexpected people….

Who am I to them? Perhaps just a friend without an identity. Easy to be recognized, difficult to be known?  A third party? Who am I to myself? A friendless friend? A depressed being who tries to console the others (and who is doomed to fail to do so)? A someone who I myself do not really know?

Who am I?…………