complicated

semua semakin kabur dan tidak jelas… 

bisa gak sih, kita mengetahui semua jawaban dari misteri yg kita temui?

apakah kita harus menemukan jawabannya sendiri?

bisa gak sih, kita hidup benar tanpa mengetahui semua jawaban dari misteri yg kita temui?

haruskah kita mencari jawaban tersebut?

pain

i’m experiencing a lot of pain these days.. 

starting from throat “infection” (meaning, you got this extreme, bloody – a bit- cough at nights, nose and ear blocked for few nights, a lot of liquid coming out from you in the morning – and you have to spend about 30 minutes coughing it out)

emotional pain.. loneliness, frequent loss of purpose of life, failureSSSSS, disappointmentSSSSS.

and now.. i’ve got back pain which since yesterday worsen to the point that it hurts after walking for too long.

i’m now having this plaster pasted messily behind my back. (since i put it myself – someone is defenitely having OT today.. hiks) 

it’s quite soothing now. however i feel painful in some other places on my back. O-o.

and surprisingly, i’m indifferent to all this pain. . . . .

what is wrong with me?

i just laugh it off by watching some TV shows which, apparently, i have watched TWICE OR MORE in the past 2 weeks.

or play some free games.

 

losing my senseSSSS,

reading: where is God when it hurts by philip yancey